There's no need for that! Just take it from nationally recognized outerspace Internet Attorney and humorist, Rex Huppke.
When we read that article (we found it to be hilarious, by the way), we noticed that Mr. Huppke had included a link to https://murderousbidencrimefamilyallthetruth.net/. Being the minor internet nerds that we are, we also noticed that the domain was actually available. So we purchased it, and posted this article. We hope you appreciate, or at least forgive, this shameless and opportunistic attempt at self promotion.
We are Plumeria Bay®. We make what we think are some of the best goose down pillows and goose down comforters in the world, for a good nights sleep.
One clever person here in our brain trust opined that we should mention... They're not "my pillows" but they can be your pillows! They are not filled with cut up pieces of foam, they are stuffed chock full of Freedom Feathers! Actually, our pillows and comforters are filled with Responsible Down Standard certified goose down. But Freedom Feathers does have a certain ring, don't you think? :)
In closing, and as one possible antidote to all the crazy stuff in our world today (along with getting your vaccinations and wearing a mask when appropriate), we'd like to remind you of this beautiful poem...
GO PLACIDLY amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
By Max Ehrmann © 1927